remembering as ritual

Hocus Focus

Memoir Magic Coven

I’m so fucking sick of trying to write ad copy.

I’m just going to tell you about what’s going on with this coven, start to finish.

I hope you stick with me - it’s a bit long

but if it’s your time to be woken up by the cold waters of memory

you’ll stay

Sign ups end Aug 31

I just went through a scary break up-

like the universe was screaming in my face

“get the fuck off this timeline NOW”

Well, really- HE was screaming in my face- I had to wipe the spit flecks off my glasses the next morning

But I happen to believe my higher power speaks to me through other people.

So I did get out of there, even though it was physically, emotionally, and mentally labor intensive.

and I landed at my parents house in my small upstate new york hometown

I haven’t lived at home in over 13 years

It really feels like the end of a karmic cycle

the spiral is coming back to where it started…but not… quite… touching… still spiraling….up..or.. down…depending on how you look at it

at one point in time, being home would have felt like a death sentence

but i’m pleasantly surprised to find freedom

like my worst nightmare (crawling home, a failure) has happened

and its nothing like I thought it would be

and I’m nothing that I think I am

that notion- “i’m nothing that I think I am”

- came to me from my mentor Carolyn Lovewell.

I understand it to mean-

That I am not a failure or a success

I am not a waitress or a “multi media mini tycoon, photographer, writer, multi-hyphenate life coach”

i’m not my ex’s ex

I’m not the product of public schooling

or the victim of american health care

I’m not a auto-didatic college drop out

nor an aspiring tv writer

I’m not a small business owner

a “really good friend”

or an alcoholic

not a hometown hero or a city slicker

not really a witch or magician

or a millennial

i’m not rosemary’s grandaughter, a spitting image of my father

even though my experience as a small separate ego self could identify with all of those things to some extent

i’m not….actually…those things

in fact im……nothing…that I think I am…..

what a liberating trip!

when I let myself go on it

and that’s really how it goes- I LET myself go on that trippy trippy trip

Once, twice, many times

Through many modes…. with many teachers (conventional and not so conventional)…..with many wise friends…….

I found opportunities to explore, to feel into what it would mean to be … more… but also less…. than these familiar forms

Until finally….now in the present day, I’ve found myself automatically REMEMBERING that I have a home in a higher context

I can feel the ridges and roads of that context with the finger tip of my inner mind

I know my way around

and even when I’m walking around as Mackenzie- playing this part, wearing that mask, completing this or that task, crying, screaming, throwing my camp chair because I got to the concert too late to see Lucinda Williams play

I’m still also mAcKenZie

That other program of awareness is just… running… seamlessly…simultaneously

And that, my friends, is the witchiest thing thats ever happened to me

i’ve retained some of the modes, tools, and wisdom that got me here

I like to call these things ‘the CRAFT’

its an artistic skill to create and yield techniques of higher consciousness

to me that is being a witch

I’ve dabbled in some tradition, and I’ve even been properly initiated into the mysteries

by a secret magickal order (I kid you not)

I am part of a coven practicing Ma’at Magick that meets every sunday

I’ve even been “certified” to coach people - if that tickles your pickle to know

and i’ve recently become very inspired to expand on my CRAFT

using a practice that’s hung around me for many years- and which I keep coming back to

MEMOIR

So i’ve already dove into one form of remembering today….

remembering that I’m nothing that I think I am, remembering my “higher” consciousness, remembering my long soul life and my immortality

and all the paradigm shifting wonderment and ecstasy that can bring

……but what about that other flavor of remembering

the nostalgic kind, the contemplative kind

the kind inextricable from smell

the remembering that resembles a luscious layer cake frosted with regret, remorse, and loss

the kind of remembering that memoirists turn in their hand like a stone over and over and over again

until finally- something new is revealed

and the memory is changed

and with the changed memory comes a levity

a resolve

the ability to accept- myself or someone else

I believe revelations like this can occur when we deliver our new paradigm to the dusty corners of the unconscious- and say hey- take a sip of this

and then the whole story shifts, becomes drunk on the wine of her fornications

and that weight we’ve been unconsciously carrying dissolves

if this is starting to sound a little clinically therapeutic.

worry not

we’re here for poetry not for inner child work

let’s just bank on the fact that the little ones in us will get the hint and do what they need to do on their own time

So how is this going to work?

Well I’ll come right out and say that- though i’ve studied it- I have no intention of TEACHING anyone the writing form of memoir or the literary techniques associated with it

Instead- in this coven- we are going to engage in some whip-lash, run-and-gun, topsy turvy, psychedelic, MEMOIR EXPERIMENTS

Which may indeed land you sitting on a heap of EXTRAORDINARY copy to funnel into your first book, or into 10+ punchy substack essays (my personal goal, actually)

But first and foremost- these experiments will leave you bubbling with remembrance- the higher form of memory- ( that automatic program of higher consciousness I mentioned before “REMEMBER!”)

And the first step in relishing in remembrance……is to surrender your normal notion of CONTROL

We have to ABANDON our false- sense- of- authorship

the metaphorical way to do that- is to get real cozy with the notion that free will isn’t exactly what we think it is- and your small self doesn’t actually have complete control over how things go

the good news is….you’re not at fault and you’re not to blame (some surface level regret and accountability never hurts, but we are talking DEEPER here)

and the bad news is….you’re not the one who can take credit for all the successes and abundance in your life

so thats the metaphorical way to wiggle out of the parasitic notion of false- sense- of- authorship (i’m here to help with this it can be mind boggling)

the LITERAL way to abandon the false- sense- of- authorship

is to promptly and regularly come to the conclusion that those thoughts arent yours hunny

those words aren’t yours

it was once a widely held understanding- that thoughts were divine

(can’t you feel the way they HIT you, INSPIRE you.) **i dont know why inspire is such a sexy word to be- inseminate-inspireeee me

WE ARE NOT THE AUTHORS

WE ARE NOTHING THAT WE THINK WE ARE

the orgasmic freedom that can come from that

phew

its enough to knock the socks off of all those sturdy pillars of conventional publication- congratulations, acknowledgements, and praise

that hang over a writer’s head from the first time they hear the words “you’re a good writer!” or was that just me? no? yeah that’s what I thought

So I have crafted a ritual practice

that I want to share with a group of witches

this fall

in fact, right now (we begin Sept 1)

and the practice stems from the premise that we are not the authors

and feeds into our personal flourishing of remembrance

Hocus Focus Sessions

5 min to land & light a Hocus Focus candle

5 min to meditate

15 min for automatic writing

60 min to write your memoir of the day

(automatic writing has a long history and many iterations, but for our purposes- automatic writing can be the loopiest stream of consciousness morning pages-esque writing you can muster OR you can go even deeper with it and unlock stream of UNCONCIOUSNESS writing- where words will appear on the page with little to no awareness of where they’re coming from

we can share our channelled words on a shared mighty network community after the session, and muse over them like one would the symbols in a dream,

this is HIGH MAGICK folks. anything could come out. weary ones may not join

After a bout of automatic writing- we will take a little breather- and get ready to shift gears

I’ll use a random date generator to choose 2-3 dates from over the last 30 or so years- and you can choose one of the generated dates as a prompt

a prompt to dive into the cold waters of memory, and visit that time and place

and using the hot psychic steam produced from our automatic writing, we will take the remaining hour to write a short-form memoir about that time

These memoirs will likely be unbelievably messy, astoundingly ridiculous, and frequently brilliant beyond our wildest dreams

The laxadaiscal and fast-paced nature of this container is intended to successfully bypass all discretion, leaving us in awe with what has been excavated

If you’ve really hit a gold mine and want to focus on one date for multiple sessions and truly build upon it, please do

If you find yourself in a pile of mush, maybe a little distraught- I’ll make myself available for a phone call, as a complimentary and friendly gesture from a fellow looking out for friends on the path of remembrance

And if you feel called to share the beauty that was channeled through you on the mighty network- YOU BETTER, or else

The Hocus Focus Sessions will take place three times a week, on varying days at varying times- to accommodate diverse schedules

The days have been selected, but the times wont be selected until a week or two ahead of time

Depending on the time zone of most of the attendees, I may adjust the times to cater to the group

But fear not, you WILL be able to attend over a dozen live calls

and it’s not expected that everyone will go to all three every week, I am hosting an abundance of calls, so that there are many opportunities to attend

these sessions will be recorded so you can listen on your own time follow along in the kinetic energy of the day’s working even if you couldn’t join live

So what else will go on in the coven?

Fun stuff.

A Welcome Call- Sept 2.- 1:00 pm EST

(an orientation call that will be recorded for anyone who can’t attend)

Three Moon Rituals!

The rituals will vary- but one thing is mandatory- you must show up in LOW LIGHT! Candle light preferred but not necessary. I recommend making your writing/ desk area into an altar, and really consider it a home of your magickal practice for the next couple months

September Full Moon Ritual- 9/7 7:30 EST

A jubilant, socail ritual. I’ve put on a good handful of rituals, and I like to incorporate many surprising magickal elements. These rituals will be an entertaining and elevating treat for all.

October Full Moon Ritual- 10/6 7:30 EST

TBA - Just to be clear I KNOW, what we will be doing… but it is a secret for you until its closer

October New Moon Ritual- 10/21 7:30 EST

TBA- Okay honestly for this one I DONT know yet what we will be doing, I’m sure the correct ritual will be revealed to us as we travel through the season together. Suggestions, input, and co-facilitating is welcomed

these rituals are intimate and private and will not be recorded

Okay but what else?

Glad you asked!

There will be FOUR Coven Calls

9/17 1:00 pm EST

9/25 5:00 pm EST

10/1 12:00 pm EST

10/17 2:00 pm EST

I mentioned before that I sense a little bit of unfurling could be set in motion by these intense ritual writing sessions.

I wanted to plan some calls that exist as time for q+a, impromptu coaching, and honest sharing

If there’s time we could also read some of the things we channeled aloud to each other, and gossip about the deeper meanings and synchronicities in between the lines

If we end up needing more than four coven calls, I can arrange that

And like I said before, my personal line is open (for free) for anyone who needs to connect 1:1

This work is transformative and alchemical

A lot of mind blowing waking up can take place

These calls are vulnerable and raw and will not be recorded

Okay and last but not least

The Closing Call- Nov 1. 12:00 pm EST

Scheduled very intentionally on November 1 , All Saints Day and the Day of the Dead.

I look forward to this bookend, because I luxuriate in the energy present on Nov 1.

I hope everyone makes time to shuffle into the zoom room in pajamas, with coffee, to soak up every last ounce of the magickal day and of our magickal coven together.

This call will be recorded

Wasn’t there something about candles?

Yeah.

Honestly they’re starting to feel like the least important part.

But really the candles are so cool and close to my heart.

They’re my personal practice in magickal talisman making.

I started crafting these 100% beeswax candles last year, as a magical time-keeping mechanism. The candles burn down in almost exactly 90 min. While the candle burns, I focus, thus HOCUS FOCUS, the namesake of this container, and the name of the candle company (still a baby company)

I create them using 100% beeswax greek orthodox prayer candles as a base, which I slather in even more melted local beeswax, which gives them each a one-of-a-kind rustic flair

Sometimes I add color to the wax for planet correspondences

and I also anoint them with ritually charged oils and sometimes herbs

I will ship the first 30 coven members 10 free candles- five in sept and five in oct (we’ll charge another batch of annointing oil in ritual together in sept)

the first batch of candles i’ve crafted for this coven were created on Friday 8/22 and the anointing oil was charged in ritual at 2:06 am est 8/23 as the virgo new moon became exact

they’re annointed with castor oil carrying cedarwood oil and rose water, and I performed a specific working for the flourishing of this coven

with much emphasis on opening our channels with the divine muse

You can use any candle in ritual if you run out of hocus focus candles

But i’ll also have more for sale in my shop

Anything else I should know?

The coven costs $30 every two weeks

5 payments of $30 total

My payment portal is set up for payments to happen automatically, so you can mark your calendars for two weeks from your first payment date to keep track

You will find the payment portal below!

After you sign up, you’ll get an email from me with your link to join the private Mighty Networks community (easy to use)

There you’ll find the full calendar of calls

and be prompted to set up your simple profile!

Join the Coven!

Sign up Ends Aug 31

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